


Standard Abuses of Greek References in Everyday Conversations

by glitterandlube



Category: Star Trek RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-07
Updated: 2010-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-10 23:37:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterandlube/pseuds/glitterandlube
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I DISAVOW ALL KNOWLEDGE OF THIS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Standard Abuses of Greek References in Everyday Conversations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aurora_84](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Aurora_84).



> First of all, this is all the truth because Vulcans can't lie, and I am of the Noble Race of Surak.   
> Secondly, there is a small spoiler for Heroes in here assuming anyone is still watching that show?   
> Third, Yes, I just thought of Spock and wrote Quinto. I guess it's super obvious, you'll get over it.

**Premise:**   
_  
Zach has never come out and actually articulated his crush on his co-star on Heroes to Chris. It is counter-productive to indicate to a person you are interested in that you are also interested in another person, and it is extremely counter-productive to mention something of this nature to a boyfriend. Zach did not believe in counter productive, so he would never make such an utterance in any place Chris could hear it. Chris merely infers the presence of said crush by the language Zach uses when he casually mentions Sendhil. [Words like beautiful, gorgeous, and one time, work of art, are used at varying levels of sobriety.]_

Chris has to admit, the man is heartrendingly gorgeous, possibly more so than himself, which is completely uncalled for - but luckily, utterly straight, and married. With a child. He might as well be wearing a sign that says, 'SORRY ZACHARY THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE TOUCHED BY YOUR HANDS.' This makes Chris very grateful towards the universe, because he is not interested in losing Zach at any point in time, and any potential rivals need to have as many obstacles involved as possible. Specifically because Chris is of the opinion that Zach might be able to circumvent the straight part of that equation. He trusts Zach, but he's still a guy, and guys can be distracted.

However, the feelings still existed, even if they would never be acted upon in reality, and Chris didn't like that. It was unreasonable, but jealousy is not a reasonable emotion. Especially since it seemed a little bit more than just physical attraction - Zach felt Sendhil's soul was also pretty and alluring. Chris's soul was plenty damn alluring, and filled with lots of interesting Zach specific energy, and Chris would prefer that Zach's focus stay there.   


**Story:**

Zach gets his scripts for Heroes, which Chris steals to go through carefully, as he has no idea what the show is about, other than a bunch of attractive people who have super-powers. Zach explains his character and Chris spends the next day making faces at him and then zombie noises, and then calling Simon Pegg for advice about how to deal if Zach decides to eat brains in real life.  
[Simon offers to send over a cricket bat signed by himself and Nick Frost.]

Zach retaliates by sending out a mass e-mail to Chris' friends announcing his plans to cease a career in acting, and open up a ranch in Wyoming. It waxes lyrically about men in leather pants and country boys who know how to ride. Most of Chris' friends send e-mails back along the lines of 'please put the thesaurus away you jackass' and 'no one needs to hear your gay fantasies.' [His mother sends back a request for pictures of the gay cowboys, completely freaking Chris out. He writes back a long note forbidding her from Queer as Folk DVDs. Again.]

Chris comes home with a sparkly cowboy hat that he sits on Zach's head. He squints and says, "I guess I could see the appeal." Zach kisses him slowly with the hat still on, and lets Chris take pictures with his phone to send to their friends. They end up in bed for a long time, making horrific jokes about horses and the riding thereof.

Chris actually reads the first script the next day. He uses different accents for the parts as he watches Zach shave. He falters a little bit when he sees handwritten notes in the corner of a few of the pages requesting that Zach gay it up more in his scenes with Sendhil. Zach glances at him, and Chris asks, "Gay it up?"

Zach rolls his eyes, before looking in the mirror carefully at his face.

"The show has been considering a storyline that has a overt lesbian theme, so I suppose they want to have a subtler gay male theme to underpine it."

"Sendhil is the one you like?"

"I enjoy all my co-stars."

"The one you said was, and I quote, "A living sculpture?"

"I don't remember saying something that trite about anyone."

"You were drunk."

"Therein lies the reason I dislike getting very drunk. It's unsettling to have one's words quoted back to you later in unrelated situations while you have no memory of them."

"I've never been compared to works of art."

Zach looks over at him, an amused look on his face. "Chris, works of art are for admiring, humans are for fucking. Which position would you rather have in my life?"

"There is the story with the statue that came to life after the King spent his life pining over it."

"I don't want to be Pygmalion in any context. Perfection is a noble pursuit, but flaws are what give people character and depth." Zach waves his hand at Chris who frowns.

"You like me because I'm flawed?"

"I like you because you're you, with all that entails."

"Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"It is what it is."

"Please be more vague in your next answer, that was almost a complete response."

Zach grins brightly before walking out of the bathroom. "That's exactly what I meant," He replies as he heads towards the kitchen.

"What?" Chris calls out.

"Do you want eggs?" Is his answer.

Chris makes a face in the mirror. "Yes," he says, louder. He still doesn't know what the hell Zach meant. He doesn't look flawed, does he? They have breakfast and after Zach leaves to go to work, Chris falls back asleep for another few hours before waking up to look in the mirror for twenty minutes trying to discern flaws. Then he calls his sister to ask if he's secretly ugly and never knew. She agrees he is hideous. He hangs up on her.

He throws on some sweat pants to go get some coffee and a newspaper, and get his picture taken by the few remaining photographers who still lurk outside his house. Somehow they never catch on that Zach is frequently leaving his house at strange hours. Chris sometimes wonder if Zach really does have magic powers and the tv show is just a really stupid cover for his magician ways. He had suggested this to Zach once, and Zach had suggested back that they further explore his magic sexual powers, and Chris had gotten distracted.

That probably meant he did have magic powers. Or the studio was paying someone off. Chris' play is over and he has a few more days before he has to go do actual work, so he slouches around in a tiny cafe, hiding in a hoodie, telling himself that Zach isn't having gay underpinings on his fucking gorgeous co-star, because he has a much more gorgeous co-star at home [kind of] to have gay stuff with. Over. Under. Something. Chris might be kidding himself about being more gorgeous than freaking Sendil Ramamurthy, but he can pretend he's not, since he is a professional pretender and all.

A week goes by where Chris carefully does not ask how Zach's scenes are going. Zach is sweet, and nice, and attentive, as he normally is, and also, kind of condescending, and sort of scary in bed, as he also normally is, so Chris decides he is being ridiculous. He steals the script for next week, and ignores the notes about "MORE GAY STARING," in the margin. He pencils in comments about how Zach can't make his staring more gay as he's already the fourth gayest man in the world and those titles are hard to come by. [He pens a story about a gay cage match with a sparkly belt on the back of page three. There are many bitchy, bitchy deaths.]

Zach picks his pages the next day to see lots and lots of penciled comments about zombie love affairs, and questions about how how Zach plans to make himself gayer to win fans [plus the cage match.] When Zach gets back to Chris' house that night, he tosses his new pages at him, and says, "Yes, I do use method acting to play Sylar, come hither so I can show you my technique." Chris laughs, and lets Zach push him down on the couch.

Everything is fine until Zach invites Chris to come to the set, so he can show him his other job. Chris adds, "Your lesser job with your lesser co-stars," and Zach frowns at him and tugs him out to the car. He takes Chris around to say hello to Milo, Adrian, Hayden, and a ton of other people Chris immediately forgets the name of, because they don't attempt to grope him like Adrian. Zach had pushed Adrian's hand off Chris, and said, "I would prefer you didn't." Adrian had smiled at Chris, and said, "No problem, Zach."

They get to Sendhil's trailer, and he comes out, nursing a huge cup of coffee, and smiling hello at Zach, and Chris freezes. This guy is a work of art, he's totally fucking gorgeous. Zach looks at him carefully and again says, "Chris, this is Sendhil." Chris shakes himself, and plasters a smile on his face, and says, "Hi. Zach mentioned you." Sendhil says, "You were Kirk, right?"

Chris says, "Yeah, I was Kirk," and looks at Zach, a little hurt. All he is is Kirk? Adrian obviously had an idea he wasn't just Zach's co-star on a movie, why the hell didn't this guy? Zach is looking at Sendhil, talking about some later scene. Chris hasn't felt this self-conscious since high school and is mentally urging this guy to stop smiling at his goddamn boyfriend, and go back into his fucking trailer, and maybe get trapped there for the next ten to twenty years.

In the meantime, Chris can marry Zach, have seven kids, and install some kind of shock collar. These all sound like good steps to fight someone who looks like that. He slides his arm through Zach's, and Zach looks at him questioningly. He shrugs, he doesn't want to say, 'Oh by the way, I want you to quit your job right now, and come home and fuck me in all the rooms in my house' or anything. So he settles for huddling close to Zach, and silently cursing life.

After ten minutes, Sendhil goes back into his trailer, and Chris applauds his ability to get his wishes answered. Zach turns to Chris, and says, "Were you being rude on purpose?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"I believe you do know."

"You guys were talking about your job. I was staying quiet. What did you want me to do exactly?" Chris asks.

"You felt rude."

"I...I'm going to go let that guy grope me some more. At least he seemed to make sense when he spoke."

"You have nothing to be jealous about, if that is your problem." Zach states.

"Who's jealous?"

"You did mention him before."

"I got over it."

"If you are very sure." Zach does not sound like he believes that.

"I am completely sure I am over it."

Zach continues to look at Chris, and Chris repeats, "I am completely sure."

Chris hangs around to watch them film, and the director keeps making motions for Zach to lean a little closer to Sendhil, and touch his arm suggestively, and Chris pretty much wants to burn down the entire set with his mind. Sendhil keeps laughing, and Zach is smiling at him, and Chris really wants this show to get canceled. He walks back to Zach's trailer by himself, but he can't get in, so he sits on the steps for three hours, getting more and more pissed.

He calls Karl and John to go out with them that night, because he wants Zach to remember he has other people to hang out with. They meet at a noisy bar with lots of hot waiters, and waitresses. They have a few beers, while Zach is careful to only drink one slowly. They are talking about the next movie, as   
Chris says, "Yes, yes, I know, drink new alcohol, start wars, have sex with strange aliens in scary bars. I read the Prime Directive."

Karl says, "Sounds like a normal visit to LA to me."

John looks at Chris, and asks, "What's the Prime Directive?"

Chris answers, "I have no idea, I guess it's the rules of Star Trek. Number ten is probably 'If it's hot, Kirk gets to fuck it.'"

Zach adds, "I believe the Ninth rule that irrevocably states Spock's ownership over Kirk overstates your supposed number ten."

"Ownership?"

"Of course. I am sure all Vulcans wish to have a pet human."

"Pet Human? Spock is Kirk's pet Vulcan!"

Zach sniffs. "The Vulcan species is far superior to the human race."

"Zach, you're human. In case you forgot. Also, you guys are arguing about your made up characters. Freaks." John announces before gulping down his beer and signaling for another round at their table.

"Don't assist, John." Zach intones seriously, before turning back to Chris. "Admit Spock is superior."

"Kirk is the Captain."

"Spock choose to take the secondary route."

"Oh whatever, Kirk is obviously where it's at. Not Spock."

"Spock has the girl."

"I'm not even sure how that fits into the conversation? Is Spock dating Uhura and Kirk? That doesn't seem logical, does it? Karl, is that logical? To date two people at one time?"

"I'm sure Bones wants nothing to do with this topic."

"What will it take for you to agree with my observation?"

"I don't know, are you going to call me Captain in bed?"

Zach's eyebrow goes up in a good imitation of Spock. "Perhaps."

"Than I might be persuaded to see it your way. I want the ears too though, and the shirt. We can skip the eyebrows. You can bring Zoe if you...okay, stop giving me that look. I was kidding."

"Sendhil and I have a scene tomorrow. A very personal one."

"You know what?"

"Yes?"

"Fuck you."

"I love how alcohol enhances your natural charm and witty repartee."

"I like your mouth a lot more when my dick is in it. Otherwise, it's kind of obnoxious."

Zach puts his glass down, and says, "Excuse me," to the table and gets up. He walks out the door of the club, and drives around the city to clear his head. He's not sure how the conversation got away from him, or why Chris is on edge so much lately. He ends up at Chris' house, and settles on the couch to wait for him to return home.

Chris comes back an hour later in a cab. He stumbles through the front door, cursing it, his floor, the lack of light, and most of the universe. Zach waits until he's done, and approaches him. He starts, "It's very hurtful when you..." but Chris interrupts to say, "Yeah, I don't care." Zach looks at him, confused, and worried as Chris continues, "I'm going to bed, you can see yourself out." Chris shuts the door behind him. Zach thinks, 'Defining moment.' He opens the door to Chris' bedroom, and watches Chris pulls his shirt off, his movements unsteady with too much alcohol. Zach walks over, and slides his hand around Chris's wrist. Chris looks up at him, and they stare at each other until Zach says, "I want this with you. Either you are willing to continue or you are not, but I need you to be very clear with me."

Chris looks at Zach's fingers wrapped around his wrist, and he deflates. "I don't want to share. I'm not a sharer. I almost failed kindergarten because of my utter lack of ability to let other kids touch my toys."

There is a long moment of quiet, and Zach says, in a low voice, "You are not sharing me with anyone."

"Aren't I?"

"I would not be involved with another person while I was involved with you."

"So that excuses the fact that you want to be? It's the same thing." Chris says, anger rising in his voice again. "Now let go of me."

Zach looks a little dangerous as he tightens his hand around Chris, and asks, "Who exactly is it that I wish to be involved with other than yourself? I fail to recognize the existance of such an entity so please enlighten me."

"Oh please. Like you fucking don't..." Chris starts, and he tries to pull away from Zach, who isn't letting go. "Let go of me!"

"No. I will not relinquish my hold on you until you answer me."

"Sendhil! The beautiful work of art you're always around? Your whole stupid goddamn personalized scenes with your fucking crush. I can't believe I got suckered in by some elegant phrasing and science fiction crap. Kirk and Spock's epic friendship, my ass."

"I am not interested in Sendhil."

"Bullshit."

"I am stating the absolute truth, Christopher."

Chris makes a face. "Christopher? I can't tell you how much you channeling my mother doesn't make you more attractive to me."

"I am capable of looking at a pretty face without succumbing to its charms."

Chris snorts. "I don't think it's just his pretty face you're looking at, Zach. I'm also fairly sure my pretty face is what got your attention in the first place."

"It wasn't what kept my attention."

"Sure." Chris leans against the wall and rubs his face. "I'm sure it was my witty repartee that leaves you speechless. I'm not that much of a fucking idiot."

"Perhaps I find your passion for life invigorating, or your willingness to play with me verbally, and otherwise to be an effective draw. I could enjoy the way you ply our mutual craft, or maybe I just find something spiritual about the way you look at me on Sunday mornings when we're in bed, and you're still mostly asleep. The sum of love isn't just individual parts, but if you require me to start naming them until you are satisfied, I will do my utmost."

"Love?" Chris looks up at Zach, his eyes wide, and very blue.

"I do not regard you as a secondary draw as I can not acquire my first. I love you, and only you."

"Only me?"

"I promise." Zach answers as Chris smiles and pulls him over. He wraps his arms around Chris, and Chris laughs into his shoulder. He mumbles, "I love you too," into Zach's shirt.

Zach pulls away to say, "Drool is not that attractive."

"I guess that rules out blowjobs for the rest of your life."

"Allow me to further clarify my previous statement."

"Nope. No more blowjobs for you. They are only for me and my acceptance of drooling now."

"Chris."

"Yeah?"

"In the future, bring this up in the first place." Zach requests.

"I did, and then you made a joke about it! You knew I was edgy about the subject."

"I knew you were jealous. I didn't realize you felt there was an actual reason to be concerned."

"I don't know." Chris answers. His head is a little fuzzy right now. He just wants to sleep and forget this whole day happened except the one part with the hugging. He smiles again, and lets Zach push him down on the end of the bed. Zach takes off his shoes, and his belt, and helps him into bed.

"Are you staying?"

"I am."

"Good." Chris says. He lays back on his bed and mumbles, "Stay forever."

He feels Zach's fingers brush his hair, and he thinks he hears a low answer of, "I plan too, Gandeymene."

"Gandeymene?" Chris asks sleepily.

"Zeus was so enchanted with him, he stole him from humankind, and kept him by his side for all time, serving as the cup bearer of the gods."

"So better than a sculpture?"

"So much more important than a sculpture." Zach answers. Chris smiles up at him, and then says, "Wait, are you saying you're Zeus?"

Zach walks into the bathroom, and before he shuts the door, says, "You're the one that implied I was magic."

Chris throws one of his shoes at the door, but he's asleep when Zach comes back out in his boxers, and a t-shirt. He climbs into bed, and kisses Chris on the cheek before whispering, "Buonanotte, Mio Anima Gemella."


End file.
